state of independence

I was taking care of myself in all but a financial way by the age of seven. When your only parent has to go out to work you have not got much choice in the matter. There's no-one else around to do things for you and unless you want to stand still and do nothing [no thanks] there's plenty to be getting on with and it's called life. If I continue on this diet for much longer I do not think I could remain independent. Last night I just had to lay down and try to sleep. During sleep humans re-charge and generally wake up feeling full of energy. Well not today. Not this human. Today I do feel mentally a little brighter, a little sharper than when I went to sleep 4 hours ago but that's the only thing that did get better and I am sure that will not last long. Physically I am all out. I did start to do a little yoga but I could not keep my balance and struggled with simple postures. I could not manage to complete the first round of repetitions for the standard set of weights I normally enjoy every morning. There was no way I could do 10x3 I struggled to do 10 and that was that, I had to give up on it. So now I am losing strength and I am not able to gain any because I have become to weak to train. That's one of those lines that have been crossed because if I do not have the energy to fuel strength, then I will just deteriorate in ever decreasing circles and that's dangerous. Muscles will start to waste and my joints already feel starved of synovial fluid which makes it painful to move limbs. Just like a car will cease up without oil, the body starts to erode and dry out. I have to take note of these subtle warning signs and consider stopping this experience very soon. I need to get stuff from the shop and I love to walk in the rain but I am doubting if I could make it there and back to be honest. It's not that far but last night I could not be bothered to make it to the kitchen. The walk to the shop includes going up and down hundreds of steps and includes a nice steep hill that's a little daunting if you are not on form. I will consider calling this off today before things get seriously bad. I am not sure if I can learn much more now than I already have without risk. I will decide by the evening whether to continue or not but this 3 week point could be enough already as I don't think i can take much more and remain independent.